Breakups are worst, they can shatter your sense of reality and yourself. Especially with the expectations of "forever" relationship, loss of one's love makes one to feel like a failure. In this state, you are bound to feel disheartened and gloomy. Though time does eventually heal, it is important to not spiral down. It is better to take steps to recover proactively, so that we get on with our lives and live to our best capability.
Grieve, and do it without guilt
There will be crying spells, sleepless nights and other numerous symptoms which only means that you are grieving. Going through this phase is inevitable and also important as it brings out the emotions and helps body to handle stress.
No contact
Transitioning into friends after breakup is not a good idea always especially when you have not learned to live without them yet. It can only lead to delaying your own independence as through contact you still keep yourself emotionally dependent on them. It can also bring in more complicated emotions of jealousy and sadness into picture if the other one starts dating.
Don't stalk
Do not check up on them on various social medias. We often want to know whether they are equally sad and often times it can get disappointing to see them posting happy pictures ( even when they might not be true portrayal). It is important to realise that whatever your ex does is now none of your business and you need to heal yourself instead of comparing the progress.
Journal
Writing journal is a good way to let out your emotions especially when it is hard to articulate in front of your close ones what you are going through.
Meet up with friends
Spending time with friends can truly be therapeutic. The laughs, goofiness, rant sessions and the cheer me up slogans can surely put you in a good mood and prevent you from going into depression.
Songs and books
Songs have power to put you in good mood. Whether you want to feel that melancholy or you want to have dance off with yourself, music always helps. Same goes for books too, reading a new fantasy novel puts your mind in another world which could be good escape when you feel overwhelmed.
Learn to live without them
When we are with someone we often build dreams and goals for future which includes collective effort. Now that they are gone, it can feel hopeless when you think about those dreams. Instead of clinging onto a future which is not there, make a new one for yourself. This might be time to realise your own potential and create dreams that depend solely on you.
Exercise and keep moving
Exercise is surest thing to keep depression and sadness at bay. Exercise, even if done in small amounts everyday, will help you to maintain self esteem. It also clears your mind which otherwise might be filled with negative thoughts.
Explore and travel
Go out and explore new places. It is important to make new experiences, and by doing something new by yourself releases happy hormones which helps in moving on. You don't have to go to a new city or new country, it can also be a place in your current city which you have never visited before.
Do not change drastically
Do not give into immense emotions by taking irrational decisions. During breakups you can experience lots of highs and lows, the sleepless nights can affect your judgement in a negative way which can lead you to splurge, or change some aspect of your life in a drastic way. Instead of acting upon it immediately, write it down and think it through.
Don't delve into "what ifs"
The most common pattern is to think about past and realising the mistakes that we did. Learning from mistakes is a good thing, but to keep reminiscing them and play the scenarios again and again only proves to be counterproductive. What's done in past is done, it cannot be unchanged. It is better to take the learning and move on. Nothing improves if you remain stuck in past.
Don't start dating too soon
Do not rush to meet new people in romantic context again until you feel you have healed enough. A clear sign to know when it is time to get back in, is to realise that you are not ranting about your relationship anymore when asked about it.
Don't wait for closure
You can never truly get closure from your ex, it has something which has to be found by yourself. People often cling back in name of closure or they keep waiting for that one thing to happen. Truth it that closure is what we give ourselves and it is not dependent on others.
Rekindle with old activities
Often it happens that we let go of some activities when we are in relationships, due to less time or new priorities. Rekindle with those activities and connect to yourself in process. You will feel good and will look forward to life enjoying your activities by yourself.
Talk to a therapist
It can be difficult to experience all the emotions related to breakup by yourself. It can be extremely helpful to talk to a therapist, who can guide you through steps to ensure you come out of these difficult times unscathed.